october 18, 2003 love note 9-12-02

I was looking for an old file among “my docs” when I came across a file named Love Note 9-12-02. Having forgotten the note’s contents, I opened the file. This is what it says:

“Just when we thought we had given up on each other, our dreams of a good life ahead of us prodded us to go on. The sight and sound alone of our precious little one should remind us always of the chance to make our lives matter more than ever. We’ve gone this far. Let’s enjoy the race in search of the end of the rainbow. Together.”

With a smile on my face, I remembered writing this note for my significant other after one of our many spats. What the spat was, I can no longer recall. It could have been one of those insignificant things that got magnified because one of us did not want to lose the fight, no matter how trivial the cause was.

Funny how one can write “mushy” love notes when he is at his saddest. I don’t know but I always have this impression that one writes better when he is unhappy. As they say, “pigang-piga ang damdamin.” It seems we don't see any need to write down our thoughts after an all-night revelry and merriment. All we want after that is to just hit the sack or stare blindly at our bedroom wall, basking in the memory of the event just passed. Or maybe, there are more sad stories to tell than happy ones. Just read the news and you’ll understand what I mean. Perhaps, people write better about unhappy events because these are the only things happening around us. We write about these things out of necessity. Happy occurrences rarely exist anymore. There are more annulments and divorces than reconciliations; more tragedies than good tidings; more desperation than fervent anticipation. And if we do write about the good life, it is more out of wishful thinking than from actual experience. Hanggang pangarap na lang.

These days, we have stopped searching for the end of the rainbow. There are no more rainbows to begin with. Even after the drizzle. The smog in Metro Manila has seen to that.