october 19, 2003 a pocketful FPJ

I am no fan of George “Dubya” Bush, but I take my hat off to him when it comes to walking down the red carpet during state visits. (PGMA sure looked dignified in her grey suit. I am quite surprised, however, that some missionaries allegedly dissuaded her from wearing blue for the occasion. Malas daw ata. All the while I thought the Catholic church did not believe in hulas, pamahiin and the like.) He has this easy and relaxed gait--even the way he blew kisses to the crowd was "presidentiable." Thus, I cannot help wondering how Fernando Poe, Jr. would fare if (I shudder when I use the word “when”) he becomes president. Well, we’ve seen how his bespren Erap walked, or rather limped, during honor parades. But FPJ? Can he ignore his more than half-century habit of pocketing his hands in public for the whole duration of the parade? For fun, I asked a few friends for suggestions on how FPJ can hide or “make disimula” this old habit. Their suggestions:

1. Ask him to shadow-box while walking down the red carpet.
2. Tell him to ride a horse. Aba, mahirap yatang nakapamulsa habang nangangabayo!
3. Let First Lady Susan Roces walk ahead of him.
4. Replay all his movie one-liners in full volume to distract the crowd. If that is not enough, include his version of “Doon Lang.”
5. Ask him to grow his sideburns really long until they cover his arms.

If you have other suggestions, keep them. You’ll never know when they’ll come in handy.